OH THAT’S RIGHT! One of the integral parts of Cooking with Cat Ears is WRITING IT DOWN!

So, I may be a little delirious with hunger. I may have also watched eight episodes in a row of Cutthroat Kitchen. CLEARLY I CAN COOK AND I’M AWESOME AT IT! (neither fact is true)

So I decided to make sloppy joes! They made it in CK and it was awesome! I love sloppy joes! Who am I to let things stop me, such as my lack of cooking knowledge, my unwillingness to look up a recipe or THE COMPLETE LACK OF MEAT IN THE HOUSE?!

This is going to be fucking hilarious. And in cat ears

So, let’s start with some potatoes. Good base. Get those in some oil on the heat, and then after a couple minutes (when they start making the cooking noise, I’m gonna dump in an entire can of beans.

The beans say to cook for 5-7 minutes. The potatoes probably wanted longer than that. Oops.

As a side note, the whole reason this particular mission was started is I saw we had some English Muffins and I thought “oo, yes, what can I toss on some toasted of those?”. Sloppy Joes is what I came up with. Without meat. I am not a clever man.

After the beans, we need to add some flavoury stuff, and also more vegetables. I think I will nix the “mixed veggies” can in favour of a carrot and some onion. I possibly should’ve chopped these first. THIS IS THE MOST ARBITRARY CWCE!

(Most of this was written steam-of-consciousness style as I was doing things. Later notes will be in these nifty italics. Anyways, this really is the most arbitrary Cooking with Cat Ears I've ever done --notably, I don't have any sort of recipe for what I'm making. That...that is not how I cook. I am an engineer, not a scientist. Recipes are _crucial_.

You know, this onion has been in the back of the fridge for a while. :/ BRB

Okay! I talked to the roommates! They say as long as it smells like onions, it’s probably fine! Time to chop this bad boy.

Oh hey,my camera memory is full. Of *course* it is. And after all the bullshit I went (am going) through to try and get my iphone to be able to take photos for this. It is not able to. Somewhere, apple's proprietary bullshit has gone *extremely* wrong.

Alright, anyways, the onion is really just a fancy spice. Let’s add some less fancy spices: Salsa, paprika, oregeno, and crushed red pepper. And normal salt and pepper. Oo, and cayanne, I couldn’t find it earlier, sweet!

Obligatory ingredients shot, since I forgot it earlier.

OH HI IT’S MY ROOMMATES THEY ARE INTERFERING BY WHICH I MEAN GIVING ADVICE actually mustard sounds like a pretty great addition. Ohright! I have v8 juice, good tomato base! As well as more salsa

Okay! I think it’s time to just sautee this for a while. Fry. Stir. Simmer. I DON’T NEED NO FANCY RECIPES AND ALSO NO FANCY AND USEFUL COOKING TERMINOLOGY!

Do that thing where I let some of the liquid evaporate off by having good heat

“More potatoes isn’t a terrible idea at this stage, right?”
Adam: “dubious silence”
Me: “I mean, I’m mostly just saying that to see if you scream in horror”
Adam: “Well, uh…it’s not like you have anything that won’t suffer from being overcooked”
Me: Excellent. Muahaha.

“It’s like a formula. You know how you adjust the formula, and then you get a different graph at the end. Like math.” —Hannah, dropping some wisdom on me.

GUYS THIS STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS COOKING THING DOESN’T WORK IF YOU’RE BEING COOL AND SOCIAL okay they left, that was pretty good though, I like my roomates and they know way more about cooking than I do.

Okay! Added some cinnamon and some more salt. All the beans have turned to mush!

Ohman, Joseph suggested curry paste, which would’ve been fucking perfect! this is ONE HUNDRED PERCENT A CURRY. We have no curry paste. Goddamnit.

Okay, this isn’t overwhelmingly amazing or anything, but it’s interesting, and I can eat it for lunch over the next few days (which is what will happen with it. I’m debating chopping up some fresh mushrooms to put into an English muffin and sloppy-joe-curry sandwich, but that might be pressing my luck (and a waste of fabulous mushrooms. Definitely time to toast a muffin or two though. Especially since it’s starting to get a little baked and gross around the edges.

Woohoo! I cooked a thing! Without even using any sort of recipe!

We will never speak of this again.